Delirious Joy

2007-01-14T05:17:00.000+08:00

EDIT

I've moved!

peachtart.wordpress.com
peachtart.wordpress.com
peachtart.wordpress.com

2007-01-10T16:32:00.000+08:00

Just a random thought...

Over the years, do things that had happened mellow us?

More or less, I think it does, but for the better or worse, I can't be certain.

Okie, let's just be honest here... There are indeed things that happened recently that actually makes me feel this and I keep telling myself, "Joan, when the hell can you ever learn your dumb lesson?"

I constantly tell myself that, in hope that this "sinful" thought will cease to exist but apparently, the answer I concluded seems to be never, thank you very much. It is happening and I can't sit there in pretense that your action is not disturbing me.

If I've hurt you, I'll sit beside you and ask,
"Do you like that?"

Perhaps when things take a change for the worse, you can only hope karma will get the better of them and teach them a damn good lesson. You cannot expect people not to look at you through tinted glasses when you choose to see the world through your rose tinted ones, yes?

So... do you like that?

2007-01-05T16:02:00.000+08:00

No intention of watching but no regrets!

Sinful, yes, it is.
Because it leaves you wanting more...
And more...
AND MORE!!!

Sleep sacrificed for some midnight karaoke!

Then again, sometimes it's nice to just hang out, have fun and forget that we I have work the next day. :)

2007-01-01T15:40:00.000+08:00

As the year wraps up, or I should say it has been wrapped up, I would say 2006 has been a rather fruitful year for me. I survived those times I thought I'm going to fail my assignments and exams. The period where I panic and start worrying to the submission day, with everything accomplished feels so magical. Haha, I can't quite put that in words and I'm not sure what drives me to pull through those damn times but I'm certainly glad that it has been gotten over and done with. Phew...

Then comes the time where I took an emotional rollercoaster ride. Coping with this emotional stress alone can already be quite a handful and the school had to act like a total bitch. Oh well...

This is the year where I stopped talking to a good friend for almost a year (it felt like 2) because of a stupid mistake. But this is also the year we were friends again. I'm not sure about the other people but I think it is true for me... Not trying to defend myself or anything but I learnt that I became a little too stubborn (okie, maybe a lot) to accept facts when I care too much. The price of this lesson? Priceless.

Experience of the year will be working in the bank during the last semester break.

In 2006, I also made a financial commitment which I am going to follow religiously. Have to. All thanks to always-in-a-meeting-whenever-I-call ZW.

Okie, that's all I can think of now. Of course, if I want to and have the time, there's a whole long list. All the silly moments, mean things I've said and nasty events that took place, it all happened.
Okie, so I guess I didn't waste yet another year, since I'm able to surprise myself with things I thought I'll never do.

Last but not least, 2006 marks the last year where my age begins with a '1'. Hahaha...

Sad to say, the brand new year does not entice me into anticipation for anything, at least as of now. Endurance for 6 more weeks can be quite a tough thing to do but let's just say I'll postpone my appointment with my joy till then, which will leave me a little something to anticipate. Whoopee...

As they say, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Endure and stay strong, I shall.

******************

Some pictures overdued for posting...

Dinner at Secret Recipe.

Toy'R'us is fun... I never fail to feel like a kid in there.

Goodbye 2006! Hello 2007!

Yeah, I guess one of my New Year's resolutions is not to be lazy when it comes to editing and posting pictures in my blog.
Never mind about pictures being overdue. We believe in quality, yes? Heh...

P.S: I ate 5 Rochers while I'm blogging.

P.P.S: I feel the need to sleep again. Monday will be so wasted... Then again, gee, I never knew of one Monday that is not wasted.

P.P.P.S: Make that 6 Rochers, thank you!

2006-12-29T04:22:00.000+08:00

[Edit]

You know what annoys me the most about you?

It's the fact that you said everything so simply, the way an adult might tell a child the sky is blue.

You can think I should be more understanding. Well, I say you should have seen the anticipation taking a nasty turn for disappointment in my eyes. For many times, so many times, I feel so wrong about this whole damn thing. It wasn't like this in the past. Why now?

All these only bring me to one conclusion. Everything you've said is more than a broken promise and so fucking much more than a lie. You made me feel that I need to seek refugee in a place where I can learn to cope with this.

You just made me fucking upset but you can still call me a loser because I'm hoping you'll go through all these as well. Like a fucking repeat, only this time round, you'll be in my shoe.

P.S: If you think I'm talking about you, then I jolly well could be talking about you. :)

2006-12-25T03:37:00.000+08:00

I had the hardest time on Earth, lugging my filled-with-love presents to town. It was so crowded, can! Like the fucking over-priced food isn't enough.

Anyway, all the messages from friends who had received my presents make it all worthwhile. Especially this one...

Hey! Thanks for the presents!! You deserve a Gucci bag! :) Anyway, my colleagues are all aiming at the *censored* Haha. Happy holidays! ;)

Haha, still can remember I tried to blackmail him a Gucci bag for Christmas!

And, pardon the censorship, it's exclusive to friends who had been hanging and poking around, whether I need them or not. Okie, I think my girl friends are going to raise an objection on one exceptional case if they read this. Know what?

Objection overruled! Heh...

It's still Christmas, after all. So, have a blessed and...

*****************

Some random pictures!

Such a TV addict. Can don't eat, don't sleep, don't care.

That's Jodi after you switch off the TV. That's Codi, cute beyond words. And that's the jellies I made, which Jodi claims she did assist me in some ways.

I look white as sheet. Or is it just me?

Anyway, I'm so tired. So TTFN!

2006-12-20T11:44:00.000+08:00

It's finally sunshine after the rain.

No more dwelling,
Time to get practical.

Hello World!

2006-12-18T16:28:00.000+08:00

My favourite Christmas song...

***Song "My Grown Up Christmas List" by Kelly Clarkson has been removed by the author***

Do you remember me?
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you
With childhood fantasies

Well, I'm all grown up now
And still need help, somehow
I'm not a child
But my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown-up Christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list

As children, we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath our tree

Well, heaven only knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth?
Maybe only in our blind belief
Can we ever find the truth

*****************************

No matter how much effort you put in, how hard you tried and how ever badly you wished for it.
There are so many times you wish for something and know it can never come true.

Oh, damn you, Monday again!

2006-12-14T14:28:00.000+08:00

Hoi polloi!

I do hope people are not reading this after Christmas because I've decided to declare off hibernation now. I've been trying to blog since Monday but I'm seriously so busy, I can't find any time to do so. Anyway, I'm not in the best condition to string up proper sentences for my thoughts are all jumbled up. Maybe I should blog about them at night but I'll see about it... Oh, what a procrastinator I am!

Anyway, I was reading a friend's blog last night and I have a totally different view about this guy now, as compared to the first time I met him. It has never cross my mind what drives him to work so hard and influence others with that contagious smile of his. The reason being simple is just to make someone's day happy.

He always make me smile, so I want to make someone happy too. Don't be stingy with your smile, it doesn't cost a thing. So... don't sulk and smile! :)

I'm too lazy to post these pictures one by one, so what I did was simply putting them together and posts ten pictures as one conveniently. Hehe...

It's so amazing how babies grow and learn so quickly. I haven't seen Codi for say, 3 weeks and he has already learn how to speak single words like bird, car, flower, full and scared to convey his message across to us.

And as you can see, Jodi is the one who made all of us participate in board games. It's like Monopoly, but apparently you are always fined for littering in Tampines. Yes, it's a Tampines Monopoly!

Our purpose of visit that day was to bake some cupcakes because Jodi, being the itchy backside she has always been, wanted to bake a cake so badly. And so we did and ate the fluffiest cupcakes you've ever eaten. Straight from the oven. Totally heavenly!

Oh, by the way, I always thought that motorbike is cool. It operates on battery but it's different from those you see little motor vehicles you see around your neighborhood where you can rent for $2.50 for 10 minutes. Trust me, this is so much cooler because whenever I bring Jodi to the park with this motorbike, the rest of the kids look with envy in their eyes.

That freaking hen is so entertaining. It moves around, singing some English songs and at the end of each song, lays an egg. Entertaining, right? Haha...

2006-12-06T17:39:00.000+08:00

I won't say I need preparation for this
But you've caught me off-guard.
For a very long time, I haven't felt like this.
Don't you worry; if this is what you want, it's all coming back

Not for long...
I'm keeping my soul away from you

This will be temporarily abandoned
Until Christmas
Meanwhile, I'll survive with the only happiness I can think of
(Well, people, you should know what! :))

2006-12-01T17:09:00.000+08:00

Momo and MOS on Wednesday. It's fun meeting new people...

An exception for this guy in MOS who can't keep his hands to himself, he preyed on a few other girls around him. Well boy, we saw you trying hard but tough luck, you tried wayyyyyyyyy too hard.

No pictures of new friends though. I'm shy la...
Not until I have a drop too much. Heh...

Till then!

2006-11-30T18:10:00.000+08:00

I think I'm really ill. I feel sick in the stomach.

Here's just some random pictures...

The last picture taken with my dumb Pink V3.

My phone can take pictures like this. It's so cool la!

Some people cannot sit properly on the bus.

I'm a good student!

There's more pictures but I'm too lazy to resize and edit them now.
So...

TTFN!

2006-11-28T14:50:00.000+08:00

MY LOVE!!!

2006-11-24T16:55:00.000+08:00

Buddy, why are you so busy in the office?

I'm so bored!

And and and, the fact that it's finally Fry-day is not cheering me up because this recurring cycle is such a bitch!

2006-11-20T17:30:00.000+08:00

*** Song "I Go Crazy" by DHT has been removed by the author ***

Hello boy, it's been awhile
Guess you'll be glad to know
That I've learned how to laugh and smile
Getting over you was slow
They say old lovers can be good friends
But I never thought I'd really see you
I'd really see you again

I go crazy
When I look in your eyes, I still go crazy
No, my heart just can't hide that old feeling inside
Way deep down inside
Oh, baby, you know when I look in your eyes
I go crazy

You say she satisfies your mind
Tells you all of her dreams
I know how much that means to you
I realized that I was blind
Just when I thought I was over you
I see your face and it just ain't true
No, it just ain't true

I go crazy
When I look in your eyes, I still go crazy
That old flame comes alive
It starts burning inside
Way deep down inside
Oh, baby, you know when I look in your eyes, I go crazy

I go crazy
You know when I look in your eyes, I go crazy
No, my heart just can't hide that old feeling inside
Way deep down inside
I go crazy
You know when I look in your eyes, I go crazy
Crazy...

---

Late last night
When your name appeared on my screen
I wondered to myself
Are you still awake?

I saw your picture
And you were happy again.
It was strange, it looked surreal
But it felt so real...

Perhaps as chances fade away
Cruelty sinks in so deep
We'd forget it has hurt us so much
We would forget reality has been harsh on us

Yeah, I can really blame it on Monday that I'm feeling this way. (:

2006-11-15T14:09:00.000+08:00

Love the last 2 kissing pictures. SO CUTE LA!

It's so fun to disturb toddlers...

I sang his least favourite song and he cried. Hahaha... I wonder why he gets so annoyed.

Anyway, I'm too lazy to type anything else. So...
TTFN.

2006-11-14T17:07:00.000+08:00

I was young and in love
I gave you everything but it wasn't enough
You know it's just too little, too late
Go find someone else
In lettin' you go, I'm lovin' myself
You gotta problem
But don't come asking me for help
'Cause ya know...

It's just too little, too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy, you know all the right things to say
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway.

You have a serious problem. And when I say serious, it means a fucking serious problem!

You come to me and asked for a favor. I tried my best to help you, only to realize it is redundant. Yes, why are you doing this? WHY AM I EVEN DOING THIS FOR YOU? If you have a test, then you jolly well study for your test. You don't use that as a tool for sympathy because if you do, well, tough luck, I would to. You have only a pair of hands, pace yourself... But since you would rather beg and borrow, remember to say please.

Anyway, last weekend sucks for sure, for I have to bloody fall sick. Yes, bloody sick; even as I am typing this, I'm coughing so hard, I'm sure to cough my intestines out, no kidding.

Aye, and it's that time of the month, my back is aching like never before, I'm in need of some time to complete what I'm supposed to do ~~and that includes an urgent manicure session~~. How, you tell me when there are so many things yet so little time?

Cuteness overloaded pictures in the next post, I promise.

2006-11-10T17:23:00.000+08:00

"Is it the fashion for women of this time to be agressive and sharp-tongued, or is it only you?"

"I'm the only one you have to worry about right now."

Happy weekend! (:

2006-11-09T17:44:00.000+08:00

When something happens for a second time, like a fucking replay, do you still follow your gut feeling which may not promise pleasant endings or your mind?

I hate to make decisions like that! Can I not make a decision?

Fine, I'm not making the fucking decision, period.

2006-11-06T15:56:00.000+08:00

Ema's treat at The Balcony and then chilling at Muddy Murphy's last Friday.

It was really fun and relaxed but towards the end, I realized this friend of Ema is suffering from quite a serious pedophilia. Ok, I'm not a child, she's not a child and so are you! But still... you're twice her age and what makes thing worse is the fact you're not even Tom Cruise!

For a healthier lifestyle in Singapore, for god's sake, make exams illegal!

It was almost a breeze last week but not so much for this week. WHY?
-collapse to ground in distress-

2006-11-03T16:06:00.000+08:00

Where got people fall down at the same spot twice one?

Ok, in case you're wondering, I so did NOT fall down. Just trying to illustrate a point but well, it's vague trying to be indirect and difficult to elaborate, so all I can say to myself is:

林XX,你可以再白痴一点

2006-11-02T13:22:00.000+08:00

If you want to talk, I'll listen
If you want to hang out, I'll be there
But I've never seen someone like you
So wrapped up in yourself
So self-centered
It's making me sick in my stomach

Friends told me perhaps you have yet to see its significance
You know what I'm gonna say?
Unless you're a pea-brain, this is no excuse

Looking glam on the outside
Please, but spare me from your crap reasons
We both know it's so fucking invalid
I'm so sick and tired
But I can't let it stop bothering me
Stop talking as if you really care
Do something constructive instead
I'm not your fucking dumpster — FUCK OFF

2006-10-30T13:47:00.000+08:00

Oh my love, it's you that I dream of
Oh my love, since that day
Somewhere in my heart, I'm always dancing with you in the summer rain
Doesn't matter what I do now
Doesn't matter what I say
Somewhere in my heart, I'm always dancing with you in the summer rain

I'm already feeling energetic for the weekend but damn, it's only Monday!

` k e l l y.[ddk] says:
today is monday
` k e l l y.[ddk] says:
=(
Miss Independent says:
ya, sucks man!!
` k e l l y.[ddk] says:
ya lo!
` k e l l y.[ddk] says:
how sad!
Miss Independent says:
yeah, and it's getting hazy
` k e l l y.[ddk] says:
really.
` k e l l y.[ddk] says:
its good in a way
` k e l l y.[ddk] says:
haha
Miss Independent says:
the haze should just steadily increase to 300 so we don't need to work tmr!
` k e l l y.[ddk] says:
no napfa
` k e l l y.[ddk] says:
hahaha!
` k e l l y.[ddk] says:
keep dreaming
Miss Independent says:
yeah, heard from the news... it's been STEADILY increasing..
Miss Independent says:
the way they say it is as if it's a good thing!!
` k e l l y.[ddk] says:
hahaha.
` k e l l y.[ddk] says:
they don wanna work too.

My official chatting buddy during office hour and I've just learnt that she's very busy at night watching TV!

Anyway, it's Halloween tomorrow but there are already lots of parties over the weekend. I spent an evening with my beloved darlings...

She had not bathed when I reached at 7pm and insisted I bathed her. It's so amusing the way she tried to convince me she needed hair conditioner. She even asked if I use one myself. [Rated PG. Hahaha...]

I always feel like a big kid in her house. We ate candies, watched Doraemon and played games on XBOX.

Baby Codi is so upset because Jodi won't stop singing his least favourite song, I kid you not, he would pout and cry!

It's Monday but for some reason, I'm exceptionally happy. Heh... Ask me and if I'm happy, I'll tell you! =P

2006-10-29T22:01:00.000+08:00

Finish, good lady; the bright day is done, and we are for the dark.
-SHAKESPEAR

My gawd, I'm lovin' this book!

sally says:
wa the citylink one got the mph everytime i pass by think of u
sally says:
coz books and gelare=joan
Miss Independent says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA...

What about Gucci Envy Me?

P.S: Shit la, it's Monday tomorrow, the day I hate, 1.40 am and I'm still awake, feeling like I'm going to die!

Oh yeah, and I have made a decision on something REAL CRAZY (at least for me), someone please talk some sense in me and persuade me not to do it!

2006-10-28T16:23:00.000+08:00

Mom won't quit nagging...

I know it's been there for 3 months but...
No space to put it away leh!

P.S: Kenneth Cole?

By the way, someone should just ban cartoon network!

2006-10-26T16:51:00.000+08:00

The last time I met Nicole and Joan was around May and last night when we finally meet again, it was a hell load of fun! Did I mention it's comical to be calling out to someone your own name? I kid you not; it's almost like talking to yourself.

"Hi Joan!"

"Hi Joan!"

"How are you, Joan?"

"I'm fine, Joan. What about you, Joan?"

OK, STOP... Bet you're equally confused now but fret not, because Kelly has a solution!

` k e l l y.[ddk] woooork says:
if she coming
` k e l l y.[ddk] woooork says:
den i call JOAN1 and JOAN2
Miss Independent says:
....
` k e l l y.[ddk] woooork says:
like Banana1 and Banana2
Miss Independent says:
HAHAHA... that's funny!

That's really hilarious and I cannot stop thinking about the 2 dumb bananas calling each other B1 and B2. That's really kind of you, Kelly. Thanks ar! Heh...

Details and pictures will be posted later. Meanwhile...

2006-10-25T14:31:00.000+08:00

Insomnia strike again... for the first time in 3 months!

With exams, burning of midnight oils and work for the past 3 months, I couldn't be any happier to take a break from the damn lecture notes or hit the sack after a tiring impromptu shopping trip in town after work.

I miss MacDonald's with Kelly late in the wee hours (no need for the exams though)

I miss all the KTV sessions! (I'm reminded of you, Sally when I heard Twins' songs yesterday)

I miss working with the team in HSBC!!

How not to miss them, you tell me, when Lavenna has been telling me how the new staff "cannot make it" and is day-dreaming most of the time? How, when Edmond text me telling me how he and Ronnie "encore" me to be back? Without a doubt and shame, I know Ema will be missing me. No more motivator and shit talks, but how about more of chilling and late nights out to compensate all that?

Oh yeah, and did I mention I've been into Sudoku recently? At the end of this shit drama, I'll take part in any Sudoku contest and be crowned the Sudoku Queen!

---

*Song "Hurt" by Christina Aguilera has been removed*

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Ooh, ooh...

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there

Ooh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything, I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this. Ooh...

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much I've missed you
Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

Oh, this song is so sad I'm lovin' it!

2006-10-21T15:11:00.000+08:00

No doubt, it's definitely the haze!

Typewriters do exist and there's such a place in London called Middlesex.

Cheeky Lavenna sent me a message while I was ~~missing in action~~ in the vault.

Girls at work! =) It's a pity Theresa Then (HAHAHA!), Haslina and Daisy are missing in the picture.

Little boys need help!! These boys are such big babies (except for Alex maybe because he's still new) because they're always losing their things. Joan, have you seen my guarantee from The British Club? Joan, this is the report for cancellation and I can't find them. How? How? HOW?

---

Anyway, this has been the best working experience in HSBC so far. I've worked under ODD, PFS Marketing and Sales and now HTV Trade Services. Thanks to...

My officer, Siew Meng, the "mother" of guarantees.
Ema, my da jie in the office. A hot mama, married with 3 lovely kids. We love to talk about shit and motivation. Heh... inside joke!
Lavenna, my wake-up call. She's always there to call out my name just when I was about to fall asleep. Thanks ar!
Ronnie, the good-morning guy who never fails to say good morning to everyone in the office.
Edmond, the I-lose-it-all fellow and I'm not kidding. He can be holding a guaratee application this minute, lose it in the next minute and we'll spend one whole afternoon finding it, turning the place upside down.
Alex, the AXA-and-Tenet guy. "Alex, anymore AXA or Tenet for me?" It's the easiest task ever!
Daisy, the Operations Manager. She's a woman of few words and I'm so afraid of her.
Haslina, the loud woman. Yes, her laughter is pretty loud.
Teresa, the rich taitai whom digs branded goods (ranging from bags to footwear to timepiece) and she's off-duty right on the damn dot!
Eunice, from Factoring section, kept giving me a pat on the arm where I've gotten an injection.
Lina, from shake-leg section and always dread working.

A fantasy thriller that was quite draggy. The 3D fellow in the show is such a joker, no kidding.

We've got to dig this!

2006-10-17T00:05:00.000+08:00

See the signatory on the right? It looks like it's been signed by a 3-year-old Pablo Picasso and if I get any more sick than right now, I would have disapproved of the application right away! =)

Yes again, Sharon is so nice, she gave me 20% discount and it's black. Not much of a link but what a steal!

Off to hibernate...

Actually, there is supposed to be a picture of lozenges but because I finished all of them, including what Alex has given me, there's no more picture of lozenges. What's so nice about lozenges, anyway?

It doesn't really soothe my throat. Stop the haze, someone!

2006-10-15T15:09:00.000+08:00

The other day when I saw her, she said this to me, "I wanted you to come to my house on my birthday so I can bake a cake but my birthday is over now!"

I'm such a guilty cow, so I said to her, "Aww... I'm sure we can still bake some cookies after your exam! But the thing is... you don't have a mixer."

"Do you have it then?" She asked.

"Yes, my darling."

"Then you can bring it over!"

"Hello, auntie. You think it's not heavy ar?"

Cheekily, she laughed and said, "You ask your brother to bring it over la..."

She's such a joy... only when she's not studying for her chinese spelling.

---

*Song "Love You So" by Natalie has been removed*

Everyone loves bubblegum pop.

2006-10-14T14:20:00.000+08:00

Ended up chilling with my colleague, Ema last evening at Rocky Master then Muddy Murphy, to watch her husband's band perform. Another friend, Angie joined us and she's such a joy.

Last week at work next week and the guys organized an outing together. Movies, chilling and clubbing. Ronnie offered to pay for my movie tickets, Edmond bought me my favorite Starbucks coffee yesterday and Teresa, being the bitch she's always been, sent me to the cables room to collect her damn telex. THRICE!

If you, if you could return
Don't let it burn, don't let it fade
I'm sure I'm not being rude
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart, it's ruining everything

I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey, so did you
So why were you holding her hand?
Is that the way we stand?
Were you lying all the time?
Was it just a game to you?

But I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger?

Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong, but I was wrong
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you

But I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger?

The unplugged version of this song last night was absolutely great!

2006-10-10T23:59:00.000+08:00

Work has been extremely exhausting and I can't believe in another week's time, I'm going for my internship and here comes the time where "minutes seem like hours" cannot be more apt to describe the situation.

Anyway, this is supposed to be a proper update; so I'm not going to talk about some chim things where people start SMS-ing me and question about my well-being. Ok, my dear friends, life has been a total bitch but I'm living with it.

As for you, I'm not going to say, "Look what you've done to me" because you, very well, didn't. Nothing's right and no one's left so I didn't want to sound like the only bitch to blame on everything you've did.

Don't blame your mum
For all that you've done wrong
Your daddy's not guilty
You came out a little faulty
And the factory has closed
So you can't hold them liable

There used to be times where I felt like I'm standing on top of the world and there used to be the rest of the times when I get frustrated for no fucking legal reason, so sue me!

I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really wanna mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
'Cause you know it's over before it began

No longer do I want to know how you are doing and am I all you're thinking about? No longer will I die to know you love me and I don't sleep just to dream of you. All I ever want to know now is...

When did my heart stop loving you?

2006-10-09T01:00:00.000+08:00

After the excitement meter in life dies down, life will be a bitch!

I'm sorry but you've had me like a loaded gun...

P.S: Dead tired, a proper entry another day.

2006-10-05T00:05:00.000+08:00

Bring me to wherever I can be freed
Be it Heaven with glowing halos
Be it Hell with burning desires
Release me from love, free me from tears

Disguise the memories, discard no truth
No lies are worth reminiscing
Tell me love can never true
Bring me away, Lord, please bring me away

Nobody has to understand because none can understand better than me.

You probably don't know how much it sucks to have lost focus in your life. Fuck you karma!

2006-10-02T00:31:00.000+08:00

Perhaps your heart has been broken too many times, your soul is jaded, and you've decided not to get involved emotionally. You'd rather be a bastard...

And I'd rather lie to myself about that?

Damn, I hate to be a woman sometimes!

P.S: It's Monday again! -groans-

2006-09-30T00:29:00.000+08:00

Whatever reasons and excuses you can ever think of, save the explanations; they only make me sick in the stomach!

Why do we have faith, only to realize it's never enough?

Why do we persevere, only to realize we're still letting it go in the end?

2006-09-25T23:44:00.000+08:00

Miss Independent says:
gosh, i'm having this really bad ache.
[FaE] i don't know says:
ache? how come?
Miss Independent says:
yeah, shoulder ache. it but it's been there for quite some time now and i had no idea what's causing it.
[FaE] i don't know says:
gone for a massage?
Miss Independent says:
it tickles.
[FaE] i don't know says:
not helpful then.
Miss Independent says:
yeah, maybe i should get a new pillow.
[FaE] i don't know says:
this reminds me of something
Miss Independent says:
what is it?
[FaE] i don't know says:
did you catch shutter?

Ok, this is freaking me out!

2006-09-24T00:50:00.000+08:00

Why am I so cold?
Why am I so numb inside?
What am I afraid of?
I don't even know...
This story's never had an end
But I've been waiting,
I've been searching,
I've been hoping,
I've been dreaming you would come back.
But I know the ending of this story.
You're never coming back.
NEVER!!!

Take your empty words,
Your broken promises,
And all the time you stole.
'Cos I am done with it.
I'm giving it away
I'm doing everything I should
Now I'm making a change, living the day
I'm giving back what you gave me

2006-09-23T16:32:00.000+08:00

Food is evil...

In the morning yesterday, the Insurance Department welcomed some clients over. I kid you not, right IN the office. Anyway, there's food and my fellow colleagues grabbed some food and I can't reject their sincere offer. Damn, can you believe I ate those evil foods?

Curry puff
Donut (my gawd, you definitely can't resist this)
Red bean paste bun (Yuck!)
Almond biscuits from Marks and Spencer (my bad! I shouldn't have left it lying on my desk like that!)

During lunch

Minestrone soup

In the office, before knocking off

Ice-cream (Those people bought ice-creams!!!)

Dinner

Tom Yam Ban Mian (just ate a mouthful of ban mian and drank the soup)

Food I could have given a miss (that's why I say food is evil)

N.Y.D.C Tiramisu Mud pie

After suppressing the fun for what seems like eternity (ok, actually just 2 days), I had fun yesterday. Music is ok, but I was a lil' accident-prone. No, I didn't miss my step or fall flat in my face but whatever the accident is, we just laughed it off.

Drank a considerable amount yesterday that I had to hold my pee in the car until I reached home. The trip home was almost insane... Tricia was singing XXXXXX songs and we were laughing so hard. My goodness... the good ol' days!

P.S: I hope it's still on next week.

2006-09-22T00:05:00.000+08:00

IT'S PROBABLY THE LIFESTYLE BUT YOUR NONCHALANT ATTITUDE IS NOT A GOOD EXCUSE WHY YOU HURL VULGARITIES AT EVERYTHING PEOPLE SAY, OK? I'M KEEPING MY DISTANCE AND STANDARD... I'M NOT GOING TO TOLERATE ANYMORE OF THAT NONSENSE, PERIOD!

2006-09-21T01:10:00.000+08:00

Recently, I've been thinking... do we change what we believe or does our belief just change us over the time?

When I was little, all I ever care was whether Barbie's hair needs a brush. When I grew older, I realized academic results are important and friends begin to play an important role. As I grew even older, not only does the school expect me to attend remedial lessons, I have to go for tuition and at the same time, deal with problems regarding friends, parents, siblings and what's not?

Haven't you realized that there are simply TOO MUCH issues we have to take care of? What's with responsibility? What about my faith? Why do I have to listen to your fuck shit preaching as if some bloody asshole cares? I don't see why I owe you a reason that I'm screaming and crying, laughing and shouting. That's my usual idiosyncratic style and if you can't love me for that, I suggest you'd fuck off.

But what exactly do we believe in when we all were little? Was it that fairytale we heard that the evil will eventually be struck by lightning or died some tragic death, which we can still remember vividly? What about now? Do we really choose to believe in something or was it the bad experiences that you're finally learning your lesson?

Well, you see what I mean; we can't equate what we believe then to what we believe now. No, it's not because we were young and innocent then but we've seen too much of jealousy, hatred and frustration, too little of love, care and patience now. Sometimes, just sometimes, I hope I don't have to grow up!

Alright, aside from the recent crazy thoughts and some emo shit, there's so much going on in life. It revolves around Major Project, internship and work and I don't think I have the energy to string my jumbled thoughts altogether at this moment. Holy cow, it's almost 1AM and only Thursday. Why is Friday always taking so long to come?

2006-09-18T01:33:00.000+08:00

You used to be around me and I used to talk about you to my friends. You used to laugh at me and I used to blush at your tease. How I hate life when it starts to take a negative kind of amusement for a turn.

All just seems too perfect but a pity, only to our naked eyes. Many things just appear to be what the eyes of the beholder sees, but we both know we want something more. Just like how we seems to be physically in a classroom, but our minds are not really on the books, we even wanted to get the hell out of the school and now, we wish we can turn back time. Like how you seem really nice and sweet, but... I can't seem to fathom what's on your mind; your complexity is wearing me out.

Simplicity is something too much to ask for and I never ask for that. How, you tell me, can we ever lead a simple life when our mind is ever so complicated and mysterious that at times, you can't seem to right a wrong, let alone differentiating what's rational and what's not? I know you couldn't give me a reason, so I didn't probe. In fact, I didn't even ask a single shit from you. Nothing was beyond you. So, you tell me, how did things take a turn to end up this way? Why do you look so nonchalant while I can't do anything but helplessly seeing you tearing a few pages off my life? Just tell me... Was I dumb? Or was I hallucinating? Were you there all along? Or were you not?

On a lighter note, work has been nice but whatever it is, Monday blue shall exist forever. Long live, Monday blues!

Gotta hit the sack now. Till then!

2006-09-13T23:41:00.000+08:00

Watched the premiere of You, Me and Dupree with Sharon and Sally just now. It's hilarious and I shan't be a spoiler to tell you the funny bits, just catch the show. I think it's worth it, well, at least after half a week of work.

I can hardly sit and do my work properly this morning and feeling edgy for the whole time. The exam results didn't come when I was expecting it and the suspense nearly killed me. Anyway, it was a good one, considering all other factors during the exams period. Yes, I was so distracted at that time and perhaps, it's time I focus on what I have instead of what I didn't have and what I want to have.

Oh no, it's really not about that Gucci stuff and all, it's far more complex.

2006-09-12T08:17:00.000+08:00

When you didn't ask, I can say you don't care about me and when you did, I say there's no trust.

Life can be so goddamn contradicting!

P.S: Life sucks too! There's NOTHING for me to wear to work and I'm running late. What's new?

Off to work now. Ciao!

2006-09-09T14:34:00.000+08:00

What's the whole fucking point of saying you didn't mean it after your words slapped me hard in my face?

That probably ease you from guilt but it still hurts... psychologically.

It's so silly, we know there are differences we can't compromise, similarities we don't talk about, problems we choose not to discuss and we're just sitting around, thinking in our own little world. You're probably thinking I'm doing too much while I'm thinking you're doing too little.

This isn't about winning but why are we deceiving ourselves? Why won't we admit it's exhausting to lose this game? Why can't we just sit down and talk?

If I can, I'll choose to live yesterday once more. But I can't... How I hate it when certain things are not within my control.

You expect me to just let you hit it. But will you still respect me if you get it?

A whole damn week of work, I kid you not, it works wonder. I can wake up at 8.15AM on a Saturday. Isn't that amazing? Alright, I'm going to prepare to go out now. Ciao!

2006-09-07T23:16:00.000+08:00

Haven't slept more than 4 hours each day for the past week.
Arrived late for work for 3 times this week.
Stoned during work while boss did a spot check. Well done, Joan.
Was straining my eyes to see those figures during work. I'll be so dead if I make a mistake in those contracts. Really, it's time for a new pair of spectacle.
A new paper cut adding on to the 2 old injuries.
Shoulder has been aching for the past week.

My desk with papers strewn all over the place. I kid you not, this is not the worst.

This was the shit thrown to me, to be completed and properly done before I left for work today and tomorrow, I need to do even more shit than this. Yeah, it's finally Friday and I'm SO not looking forward to it.

2006-09-05T23:58:00.000+08:00

I can't speak in sentences.

Almost couldn't wake up this morning partly due to the chilling weather. Seriously, there is no better time to sleep in but of course, the major problem is that I only slept at 3AM the night before.
No other words can describe how the presentation went today, except ok. What more can we expect? The director, deputy director, course manager, lecturers and other fellow friends were there. I'm not sure about my team members but I'm feeling the stress... Certain things weren't up to standard, there's too much to be done, and there wasn't enough time. Excuses, yeah!
Had dim sum with Sally during lunch. We cracked jokes out of nothing like how we used to be. Damn, I'm seriously missing those KTV sessions. What about you?
Had 2 cuts on my left hand, thanks to the staple. I mean, if I cut myself once a day ~~keeping the doctor away~~, I probably won't recognize myself by mid October. I can't help it but my desk is always seen with papers strewn all over the place.
Damn, I think I'm emotionally unstable. I broke the rule and I'm still dreaming...

2006-09-03T23:34:00.000+08:00

Running, running
As fast as we can
I really hope you can make it
Do you think we'll make it?
We're running
Keep holding my hand
It's so we don't get separated

I can hardly concentrate... When I'm reading, I have to re-read the article, like 3 times to fully understand. Damn, I don't know what's wrong with me recently. I just know I've been thinking. Thinking about...

2006-08-30T12:04:00.000+08:00

Feeling random

Had a chat with a friend last night and I realized I'm one who may be happy for one whole damn day and then I'll stop to think... and probe.
Going to work this Friday. Hooray, I see money getting near me but BOOOOOOOO for working!!!
I haven't started to buy things and Mom is already nagging. Can you believe it? She also said my shoe cabinet is messy, study table is messy, and wardrobe is messy. Basically, she said my entire room is chaos!
I want to ice-skate!
Damn, still have to study for WSAD.
You. You. You. YOU!
I can practically hear Kelly saying, "Your itchy backside!"

2006-08-28T14:49:00.000+08:00

Just take it that I'm not game for it or just yet, but I've fallen. Yes, I've fallen and I know some people are just standing back and waiting to watch me fall.

Now, doesn't that make you jump in joy? To have seen me fallen right from Grace.

I'm ok, just a little jaded...

2006-08-26T09:50:00.000+08:00

Head is spinning and I'm feeling queasy. Damn, I don't even know what I'm doing so early in the morning. I should be sleeping till evening or at least until Mom comes back from work and starts kicking me in my ass and says, "Girl, I know what you're up to last night and you had better call me the next time or I'm gonna kill you!"

Ok, she's probably not going to kill me but whatever...

We both know that we want it, but why ain't you telling? Certain things happened not because it has to happen, but you made it happen. Damn fuck, I hate the feeling of helplessness. Sometimes you really bring me down...

2006-08-25T01:04:00.000+08:00

Can it be easier?
Can I just change my life?
'Cause it just seems to go bad everytime.
Will I be mending?
Another one ending once again.

Everything is F-ed up, straight from the heart.
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart?
Gotta pick myself up, where do I start?
'Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart.

P.S: I need some time to sort out my thoughts but I'm not sure if I have enough time to do so. I don't have all the time in the world, you see.

2006-08-24T17:51:00.000+08:00

I ~~want~~ need new specs.

I ~~want~~ need a new phone. It's so pretty I keep hearing it calling out to me. No, I'm not hallucinating.

I want a Blythe doll because a girl is never too old for a doll.

Damn, why didn't the money fall from the sky and just fall right into my pocket?

2006-08-23T04:10:00.000+08:00

You're different from what I see
Nothing's right
And no one's left
But all along, you're never there

My patience and determination are wearing thin, I'm almost giving in but I'm never good enough because you always get the best.

You had a chance, but you blew it. I swear but when you come back next year, you have to put on your best behavior to impress me. Now, you ain't got anyone to blame because you've gotten me upset!

2006-08-21T19:07:00.000+08:00

The Major Project documentation was evil but I've managed to survive through the weekend. Yes, I've written a whole 21 pages of report for my individual component, adding up to about 5,600 words. Goddamnit, what's the crap that I wrote in?

I didn't really prepare much for the evaluation because I will be out only for the demonstration but after Angeline came, reciting what she intended to say for the presentation, I kinda freaked out a little. But it wasn't that bad because we put on our blazers, joked about the way we look, the time is 4PM and goddamnit, before I know it, it is over. And you won't believe the presentation went well. We managed to grab their attention and they were interested.

Despite not successfully implementing what we've intended to, the supervisor and evaluator were keen on the idea. Whoa... In the end, ~~the supervisor said he gonna call me after the exams for an answer whether or not we want to continue working on the project~~ I had a lot of blisters on my foot. The heels are such a killer, I'll appreciate a massage!

Goodbye Major Project and a big HELLO to Exams!!!

---

My life
Me : You
1 : 2

Your life
Love : Sex
1 : 4

Ok, whatever!

2006-08-20T02:39:00.000+08:00

Isn't it better after you explained where the relationship should stand so I won't get angry for nothing and you won't feel like I'm interrogating you?

Damn, the documentation for Major Project, aching shoulders and back are killing me! And what? I have to crap at the very least 25 pages? Let's just hope the presentation on Monday will be a breeze for my team.

Darn, and whether you believe it or not, it's not the end yet because Friday is the ECSA paper and I've yet to study. How? You tell me how?

HOW?

And I thought I have written a lot of crap for the documentation but I have SO MUCH MORE to write!! Like 6 more damn chapters?

And... and... There's a constant pain that goes on and off on my right ankle. Can age really be catching up with me?

2006-08-17T16:57:00.000+08:00

We don't have to be in love, we can just be friends
I will be right there, beginning to the end
I can bring my girls and you can bring your friends
We can both have fun; I just don't want this to end!

No L word, so I guess it's the F word.
No, it's not fuck.
Go figure out yourself!

2006-08-14T23:58:00.000+08:00

Take a look at me
My love wants to bite into your memory
Baby, but you will see
I'm frozen without your touch
No, without your love

My spirit is sleeping in somewhere cold
Unfeeling and unreachable
My love, tell me how did you find it there
Leading me away
To a place that doesn't feels like home

It seems like I've been fooled
Weren't you my whole?
You used to be my thought, my voice and my soul
It was a lie I'm living in
Darling, you used my love in vain

P.S: Major Project's evaluation is on Monday at 4PM, a formal presentation for ONE whole bloody hour. Damn, it just sounds so scary!

2006-08-13T03:23:00.000+08:00

Under a great deal of stress.

I'm sure everyone around me is feeling the same.

I know I'll be better if I cry but why the tears won't come out?

He knows he makes me happy but why he won't stay?

I know I'm unhappy but why do I refuse to say?

I do hope I have a bag to contain everything and only bring them out to worry when I have the spare time to. But... I do not have one. So meanwhile...

Everything is so fucked up. I beg someone to just stop my temptation to scream.

P.S: Can someone just tell the Comm. Skills lecturers that they should stop talking about some fucked up professionalism? Demand about professionalism, I swear I'm gonna shoot!

2006-08-11T23:52:00.000+08:00

We kissed, ok?

Joan, the Nanny

Joan, the SUPER Nanny!

Baby, you gotta keep groovin' so the night won't slip away.

2006-08-10T06:48:00.000+08:00

I was still feeling energetic a second ago but when I sit down and stare at my screen, drowsiness hits me. Damn, and no, I can't sleep because I have a lab evaluation later. And no again, I've not bathed, still reeking of alcohol and smoke or I'll just decide to hit the sack!

Aside from the minute details that were anti-climax, an extremely early dim sum breakfast at Geylang was heavenly.

Gosh, I'm feeling thirsty and it looks like it's going to rain. Yeah, let the rain just fall on me... Alright, I'm going to bathe now and off to school... without sleep!

Yeah baby, you gotta keep groovin' so the night won't slip away.

2006-08-09T04:16:00.000+08:00

5 cups of Starbucks in a week... Just tell me that's insanity because I don't think I need that much of caffeine to stay awake. At least not in the day...

Damn, anyway my eyes are dry like fuck and I'm going to sleep now. Shall post up some pictures after Kelly sends them to me. Yeah, and many more complaints!

Holy crap, I don't even know what I'm talking about.

2006-08-08T00:39:00.000+08:00

As the knife penetrates my skin
Tears become overwhelming
Blood is gushing out of my wound
My memories begin to overflow

Minutes slowly tick by
Your voice constantly echoes
In my mind
No, it won't go away

2006-08-07T01:37:00.000+08:00

I'm here, craving for yet another cup of Starbucks.

Java Chips Frappucino without whip cream, thank you

Oh dear, and how much I miss my beloved!

2006-08-05T01:21:00.000+08:00

School is so fucking tiring with projects and what's not? The lack of sleep is driving me nuts. The tantrum and bad temper, don't hate me.

Starbucks will a definite cure! ((:

Bye...

2006-08-02T16:01:00.000+08:00

Major Project on Alias Maya 7.0, it's too taxing on my eyes.

WSAD Assignment on Visual Studio .Net 2005, it's too taxing on my brain.

You on my mind, it's too taxing on my feelings.

2006-08-01T16:59:00.000+08:00

I've done something so crazy, I told no one.

You make my world so wild, baby, I felt like this is a dream...
Yes, I think I am dreaming because I still find myself wide awake.

2006-07-31T23:25:00.000+08:00

I'm dead tired...

... But I still find myself waiting.

WHY?

2006-07-30T03:41:00.000+08:00

CMSK presentation is tomorrow and I don't think I'm prepared. Damn, they should ban Monday submission forever!

Anyway, the day didn't start out as well as I've expected but it ended better than I've imagined. Yeah, despite the blister on my feet... Ouch! Damn, but the thought of having more blisters on Monday don't sound good.

Damn, and I've not studied for my Final Theory!!!!!!!!!!

My god, and Kelly just told me there's a briefing on the day of my FTT. That means I have to rush back for it. DAMN! This week will be the most hectic day of my life...

2006-07-29T05:53:00.000+08:00

The swing made me giddy. Yes, baby, that's how I feel in your world.

2006-07-28T01:35:00.000+08:00

I'm only human and I don't deny living on hope; for what is a face without a name? What will a soul without a dream be?

Don't rob my last hope, it's only cruel. No, baby, uncertainty is overwhelming; it felt like I've been hit by Tsunami. Hard!

I'm so tired but I waited every night. Don't send me away, for you know I'll leave silently as I came. But when the time arrives, my whole damn world will be so cold; no one will be able to reach me. Neither the sun, not everyone else nor you. Till then, I'll live only by dusk and die a slow death by dawn.

2006-07-24T23:37:00.000+08:00

I swear but the module, Communication Skills is making everyone so exhausted and nervy. I even had to send the damn poster for printing before Friday because my lesson is on Monday. How the hell am I going to work on the must-be-professionally-produced poster at the end of each day, totally drained?

Damn, I can't believe it's only Monday and I absolutely can't wait for a short trip to Malaysia this weekend. Patience is wearing thin when I think of all those flamboyant colors I'm going to see in the malls...

2006-07-23T17:00:00.000+08:00

A seventy-year-old couple has always been in great health because of the woman's insistence on healthy food and exercise. One day, they both die in a car crash. At the pearly gates, St. Peter introduces them to their new life in Heaven.

He shows them to a fabulous mansion. "But how much will this cost?" asks the man. "It's nothing," replies St. Peter. "It's free. This is Heaven."

Then he shows them the wonderful golf course to the back of the mansion. "But how much does it cost to join?" asks the man. "It's nothing," replies St. Peter. "It's free. This is Heaven."

Finally, he takes them through to the restaurant attached and shows them the menu, full of the richest, most delicious dishes, all with heavy cream sauces. "But we only eat low-fat, low-salt, non-dairy, low-cholesterol meals," says the man. "Don't worry," says St. Peter. "This is Heaven. There are no calories in Heaven. You can eat as much as you like and still stay trim and healthy."

At that, the man screams and turns to his wife. "You absolute bitch!" he shrieks at her. "If you hadn't insisted on us eating all that health food and taking exercise, we could have been here ten years earlier!"

Taken off from Why Men Don't Have A Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes

2006-07-21T01:36:00.000+08:00

"Can I get into trouble for something I haven't done?" asked the student.

"No," replied the Headmaster.

"Good — I haven't done my homework."

2006-07-18T15:14:00.000+08:00

I don't want to talk about this fucking justice.I don't want to listen to any more excuses...

Until the sea runs dry and turns to dust.

Don't stay behind...

The unjust will blow my spirit away...

Just let me cry!

2006-07-18T00:38:00.000+08:00

Communication Skills module is killing me.

ECSA presentation tomorrow morning is going to kill me.

Final Year Project will kill me tomorrow.

Bang, bang! It shot me down... I'm dead!

2006-07-13T22:25:00.000+08:00

The Women's Dictionary (For the Men)

"Fine" A woman uses this word at the end of any argument where she believes she's in the right but needs him to shut up. A man should never use "Fine" to describe how a woman looks. This may cause an argument that ends with the woman saying "Fine".

"Five minutes" This is about half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes a football game is going to last before a man says he'll take out the garbage.

"Nothing" This means something. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has when she feels like choking a man. "Nothing" often signifies the start of an argument that will last "Five minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

Loud sigh This means she thinks you're an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

"Thanks a lot" A woman will say this when she is really cheesed off with you. It signifies you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "loud sigh". Don't ask what's wrong after the "loud sigh", as she will say, "Nothing".

My goodness, that is so true!

---

There's something to be happy and sad about. Happy news is that I've finished my ECSA and FI&M reports today when the deadline is tomorrow. Unbelievable, I know. Sad news is that there are ECSA presentations and CMSK draft to prepare. I swear these projects keep piling up; it never ends!

Anyway, it's so fun walking and chilling around. Though it's not a very exciting place, a little break from work is always nice. Gee, we should do that more often! :p

2006-07-12T13:55:00.000+08:00

So many things have happened and really, France's defeat just keeps replaying over and over again in my mind. Ok, I'll get to that later but before that, I just want to get a few things off my chest...

1. The no-ball guy
I'm really bothered by this friend. Well, apparently, it's that what's-with-22-guys-chasing-1-ball guy again. (If you don't know what happened, read this.)

Ok, so I was determined to update my iPod with some new songs after a long time. This would have meant time to reorganize my files and such and then this fellow decided to talk to me. Here's this conversation...

He: What files are you sorting?

Me: mp3 for my iTunes

He: Chey... Zzz... I thought what important things!

Me: Ya la, just some fucking rubbish.

(P.S: In case you haven't noticed, I was already getting a little angry. This fellow already has some bad records on my list!)

He: Yes, I can definitely see that you're one who keeps lots of rubbish.

That's not the end of the conversation yet because he continues to ask some redundant questions and fucking continues to insult me. He even said I'm slow! Uh-huh, this is not the first time he said some mean to me. First he said my nail colors were ugly, then he proceed to piss me off about his gay-ness over World Cup (and I suspect that all his friends probably catch the World Cup and he's the only fucking gay alone on MSN chatting by himself, nudging all his friends only to get a reply 1 and a half hours later).

So, what's your problem, buddy? I have a freaking lifetime to do whatever I like. I don't need a time manager to tell me what I should be doing. LASTLY, I DON'T NEED YOU!

However, if you've decided to bring me down, buddy, bring it on!

2. The live-my-life guy
This is the problem with guys and I believe it's true. When they are young, their mothers take care of them. When they get older, their mothers still take care of them. Finally when they're married, they have 2 women taking care of them!

Why do men have to act like a big fucking baby?

Why does he act like a big fucking baby?

Not only has he a problem, he also lacks people talking to him during his work, updates on World Cup and the latest hits he just gotta listen.

Basically if he casts aside all of the problems listed above, he wouldn't have any problem.

Then, I won't have to LIVE HIS LIFE!

3. Turn off the aircon, please?
Monday was extremely chilly. I had a cold and was sneezing for the whole day. During Communication Skills lesson, the tutor lowered the temperature when I already felt like I'm in North Pole. When someone increased the temperature again, guess what she says?

She: Excuse me, what are you doing?

He: Some of them are feeling cold.

She: Yes, but if you do that, I'll have a headache.

He: I...

She: And if I have a headache, I cannot conduct the class and that'll be your loss.

My loss? MY FUCKING LOSS? So cold, how to learn? To think that she even had the cheek to answer in that fucking attitude.

Ok, I digress.

I'm totally ridiculed with Italy #23 Marco Materazzi and I believe he must have said something very mean to Zidane. An insult will be an insult even when you've told tens of times and that it always flies around the pitch. It must have been really mean. Ouch...

2006-07-08T01:56:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling so jaded, I just want to coop myself up and never talk to anyone.

It's so irrational to allow your emotion to take control and nobody should ever try that. NEVER!

I fucking tried to pretend nothing had happened but I kept feeling the cold knife on my skin. It threatened to pierce through my skin as if knife and blood should even be allowed to be seen together.

I've did so many irrational things and I have no idea which one should I be regretful of. I know I'm a horrible person but I just need some time to think...

One thing for sure... From this moment on, I'll rather make sacrifices than acting with emotions.

It's so noisy outside and it's so quiet in here
It's so hot out there but I'm so cold within

2006-07-06T09:12:00.000+08:00

I know Thursday is just a bad day...

The lab tutor is nattering right in front of me, seemingly self-entertaining and boy, seemingly enjoyable. HOW FUN!

Anyway, France won, sending those Portugese eggtarts to be with the Germans. Woohoo~ Zidane is sooooooooooooo cool!

2006-07-06T01:11:00.000+08:00

I swear but I have this horrified on my face at the mention and/or sight of Thursday. You know that I'm supposed to be sleeping now...

Holy cow, it's Thursday!

Let's put our hands together and pray that I'll be early for lab practical tomorrow. Gee, there's a submission tomorrow, I just have to be there!

Oh my god, that sounds quite boring! Oh yes, it is...

Gosh, pardon me for talking to myself. :p

p/s: Why isn't anyone commenting? Comment, I don't care!!!

2006-07-04T02:54:00.000+08:00

The world can see us
In a way that's different than who we are
Creating space between us
'Til we're separate hearts

But your faith, it gives me strength
Strength to believe

We're soaring, flying
There's not a star in heaven that we can't reach.
If we're trying,
Yeah, we're breaking free.

Can you feel it building
Like a wave the ocean just can't control.
Connected by a feeing in our very souls
Rising till it lifts us up so everyone can see.

Running, climbing to get to that place
To be all that we can be
Now's the time...
So we're breaking free

More than hope
More than faith
This is true
This is fate
And together, we see it coming...

More than you
More than me
Not a want,
But a need
Both of us, breaking free...

You'll know it's a fairytale when you feel the magic.

2006-07-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

Enough, people. ENOUGH!

I just need one more person coming to me, announcing the damn news that Brazil fucking lose to France, for me to strangle that person with my bare hands. It is upsetting enough, to have watched the match, knowing Brazil wasn't performing.

Quit saying Ronaldo is old because then, what is Mr. David Robert Joseph Beckham and Mr. Zinedine Yazid Zidane? Quit saying Ronaldo is fat because we all know he broke the record and yet the media and readers are still mocking at him. What is the world coming to? He will be the legendary scorer no matter what and I think it is about time those fucking media stop bringing him down.

Anyway, the Brazil players didn't look energetic and alert enough to bring it on with the French. If that's the case, they haven't got anyone else to blame and then France would deserve that victory.

Sometimes, old doesn't mean to be poor in performance and unfit physically. Twist the facts around; you'll get the definition of old to be experienced and tactful.

Good job, Brazil and good luck, France. May the best team win the World Cup!

p/s: No offense, I am actually hoping it's not either those 2 teams in the Final.

2006-07-01T03:47:00.000+08:00

For Christ's sake, tell me there is no pattern and what we're talking about are skills in the game.

2006-06-29T08:52:00.000+08:00

I missed my lab for the ~~third~~ fourth time of the semester today...

I FUCKING HATE THURSDAY, PERIOD.

2006-06-28T01:18:00.000+08:00

BRAZIL ~* BRAZIL ~*

2006-06-26T05:05:00.000+08:00

If you don't want to hear anything about the World Cup, don't ask. Don't expect me to scratch your itchy backside and be glad I don't whack the hell out of you. Alternatively, I'd suggest you to hide in a cave and talk to a rock.

Well, this is what happens...

My MSN personal message is: Because I speak football.

Friend: You speak football?

Me: Yup.

Friend: I thought we're supposed to speak English?

Ok, in case you're wondering, this is the same friend, mentioned in my entry dated 12th June 2006, whom asked me, "What's so fun watching 22 guys chasing after a ball?"

Me: It's this advertisement thingy.

Friend: I know. Haha, so do you mean that they speak like, "Foot, football, foot foot, football." When it actually means, "Hi, how are you?" LOL

Me: Nice try, but that's not funny.

Please tell me it's not funny!

p/s: Portugal won but they have 2 players suspended from the next game, which happens to be with England. How are they to win if Beckham is given 10 free kicks? Muahahaha....

2006-06-23T05:21:00.000+08:00

Despite Kaká and Ronaldinho being replaced at the 70th minute of the game, it was still an awesome match!

Brazil has qualified and...

Ronaldo is performing; he did not just score 1 goal, he scored 2!

The Brazil players are craving for more goals!

Alright, better get back to bed now.

2006-06-21T22:20:00.000+08:00

Term break is almost over but I can't care much of it now. I can't wait to watch Kaká in action with Japan. Sigh... how I wish there's World Cup every year. Then again, that's the fun of it, isn't it? I mean, once every 4 years. (:

Anyway, there's so much to be done...

Character modeling
Web Services and Development assignment
Financial Institutions & Markets report and presentation

But this is what I've been waiting for...

Thursday to end
Friday to be a breeze
Friday night, Saturday and Sunday to take forever to end

Ok, I think I'm insane! Probably too much work, too much boredom!

Oh, by the way, Kelly, you're going to accompany me to service my iPod next week? I'm actually hoping to go earlier in the day, get them to check on my iPod and get back to me on the same day. But you know what? I wanted to call and ask them that but the Apple's staff refuses to pick up the call. What's the telephone for?

I don't know. I guess it's there to make some noise.

I'm so random

p/s: Amazon.com sucks! What's with *** We're sorry. The item can't be shipped to your selected destination. You may either change the shipping address or delete the item from your order by changing its quantity to 0 and clicking the update button. *** nonsense? Not like I'm shipping explosives to Singapore or maybe I haven't realize Singapore a remote place?

2006-06-19T23:46:00.000+08:00

Should we appreciate what is done or complain what is NOT done?

Someone just fucking kills me, please!

2006-06-17T00:34:00.000+08:00

What's this score about? Argentina 6-0, totally defeating Serbia & Montenegro. What an insane score for the World Cup 2006 so far...

The week has been exhausting and my shoulder is giving me hell again. That's bad enough, I don't need someone bugging me like I owe him an explanation on why I'm tired and still be able to go to Chinatown but not watching World Cup in MacDonald's. Really, MSN should have an extra option for us to choose...

Well, but I'll tell you why I don't want to go, if you really insist.

You asked if I wanted to go. Get it? You asked. YOU BLOODY ASKED! That means I do have a choice whether or not I want to go.
I can watch it in the comfort of my home. Your decision and invitation was too late, I'm sorry I just have to assume I'm going to stand throughout the whole match outside MacDonald's. I'll rather sit on my sofa and massage my shoulder.
I went back to school for the past week, ok? You were fucking enjoying your damn term break.
I went to Chinatown after school with Kelly. There, you've said it: Not your problem. Not mine either!
I'm tired, period.

2006-06-16T21:02:00.000+08:00

Final Year Project is progressing well and slow. There was this course that went on for the past few days on 3D Animation with Maya and I'm so goddamn impressed with the Caucasian guy.

What's more? He's helpful, always ready to give advices on your model and speaks really fast with an accent.

Ok, I've got to go now. The match between Argentina and Serbia & Montenegro is starting soon.

2006-06-16T02:32:00.000+08:00

And yes, it's a goal!

The second goal for England is from Steven Gerrard!!!!

YAY!! *loud cheers in the background*

My brother must be watching the match in the camp because his message came instantly after the first goal, apparently by Peter Crouch; tall, skinny and almost crap!

Still, this is the most exciting match so far. You guys should have seen Terry's amazing save on Trinidad & Tobago's ball. It almost reached and net... Oh, I can't even bring myself to describe the scene. You have to watch it yourself. Anyway, great job, John Terry!

Why is the weekend taking so long to come?

2006-06-12T02:00:00.000+08:00

I hate myself when I'm feeling lousy. I'm telling you, it sucks this much!

I wouldn't say it started off with the soccer match between Holland and Serbia & Montenegro but it happened during the match. Definitely not the World Cup fever to be blamed but some people are just so insensitive. To such extent I just feel like hurling the F word at him.

Ok, this friend talked to me in MSN and somehow, the subject was on World Cup (and I guess partly it's because of my MSN nick). What's so nice about watching 22 guys chasing after a ball? Yeah, I totally have no idea but you can go to a coffee shop with TV near your house and throw the question at those watching WC, I'll not stop you.

Apparently, he's not a soccer-guy and I'm really fine with it. I'll cheer for the match and you'll drink from your milk bottle but you know what? He went on to criticize about my nail colors. I DO NOT need people to tell me what I should do, when I should sleep, what suits me and which channels to watch.

He didn't just say my nail color was ugly, he said it was disgusting. Thank you for your feedback but I live for myself. Won't it be boring if my world is just black and white? Yes, he said I suit black or white better. What control freak! Just because you like black and white, doesn't mean I have to paint it with either black or white. Whatever is with "I'll step on your feet if your nail colors are maroon" nonsense?

You fucking moron, what gentleman! Open your eyes to see the world. It's so pathetic to refrain yourself from seeing other colors. And... don't speak to me about your stupid ex-es and their betrayals and wrong-doings. What are you trying to show? That you're not the one who betrayed the whole damn child play-like relationship? That you're a person worthy of my trust? Over my dead body, kid.

It is really funny how you draw a line between, let's say 2 children and then proceed to smudge the line so that no one knows exactly where the line is. Isn't that self-contradicting? Oh, you like her a lot? You're a gay now?

Gay, my ass!

Your love declaration is that you love her forever? How long will your forever be? Are the units in seconds, days, weeks or months? Are those units you're using universal? Do your 1 day means forever instead of the universal standard of 24 hours? Well, we'll wait and see...

Gee, this sounds pathetic but there are just people out there, expecting you to do certain things. I don't have 48 hours a day and I don't see why I have to go according to your mood when I have mine to take care of. Neither do I have 2 pairs of hands; surely I don't have to go to your every command, yes?

I don't need someone to figure out my life and remind me what a fool I've made myself in the past. Joan, help me with this stupid geocities. Joan, take over the game for awhile (and if my memory didn't fail me, that person fell asleep). Joan, I really need your help. Please get this report thoroughly checked for grammar, tenses and whatever English rules they have before 9am, ok? Joan, are you asleep? Joan, I'm upset, my girlfriend was such a whore, and she broke up with me. Joan, do this! Joan, do that!

JOAN, LIVE MY LIFE!

Enough! I'm really glad that you're back with that pathetic girlfriend of yours again and I hereby send my utmost true blessings to the both of you. I thank god you guys made up because there's no one in the whole wide world more compatible than the two of you. Boy, I'm sorry to admit she can be quite a whore. Still, send my warmest regards to her and ask on my behalf if she enjoyed playing this hard-to-get game all these while. If I were her, I'm sure I did.

Unfortunately I'm not. So all these while, I hold onto numerous stakes, on the verge of stabbing them through her heart...

And each time in my imagination, I stab right through it, not missing an inch.

2006-06-11T01:42:00.000+08:00

This was how everyone else looks like when they're taking Financial Institutions and Markets term test paper because all we ever learn are the differences between wholesale and offshore banks, what is the capital requirement for local and foreign wholesale banks and what is capital adequacy? Oh, doesn't the mention of such terms drive you nuts and on the verge of moving your cursor to exit my blog?

Well, guess what happens on my weekend? It sure was a BLAST!

Anyway, I wasn't sleeping in the picture, ok? I'm studying... just with half my eyes closed!

Whee... what happy colors!

The words are supposed to be in a shiny green and I have totally no idea why it turns out to be white.

But finally, satifaction for lust!

2006-06-10T02:21:00.000+08:00

We mark the end of the term 3 days ago and just before my body clock turns haywire (with my mother complaining the hell out of it)...

BAM!!!

It hits us like a strong current that we still have our Final Year Project (FYP) to work on.

Oh man, what am I going to do? Do you still remember Gelarè, Kelly?

Every time I hear you speak, I die a little more inside.

2006-06-06T05:39:00.000+08:00

E-Commerce Security and Architecture (ECSA) is a crazy module. We're expected to know 8 components, their threats, how they work and preventions at our fingertips. In addition to the term test, we are given a bonus topic of Cryptography.

WOW!!!!! It's finger-lickin' good!

2006-06-05T01:31:00.000+08:00

Is this what you see as utmost importance?

Is this the feeling of betrayal?

Damnit, I really shouldn't feel like this but I just can't help feeling betrayed. Every minute living in your lies, I had this very thought of killing you!

You sent me out and I've suffered frostbites and been chilled to my bones. Why can you still be so happy like nothing of that sort happened? Just what did you do to deserve all these? Trust me; I'm really starting to believe that you took me as your stepping stone for fresher air.

Just be careful not to fall.

BE VERY CAREFUL, my dear!

2006-06-03T00:45:00.000+08:00

Been carrying tons on my shoulder and right now, I'm complaining to my mom that my shoulders are aching like hell.

She insists that I haven't had enough sleep and nags at me. Likewise, I insist I had enough sleep.

I had enough sleep, ok mom?

Anyway, term tests are just next week and if you ask me how prepared I am, my reply will just be a long, loud sigh.

2006-06-01T16:32:00.000+08:00

I know Kelly is going to say I'm crazy but damn, I'm starting to like the 3D Maya class. Haha, I kid you not but it sure is interesting when you're modeling the neck and you're feeling your own neck (or even worse, looking at the neck of the person next to you) and start asking, "Damn, how does a human's neck looks like?"