Wednesday, May 03, 2006
I'm getting it all wrong!

The feeling is as if you've put your best effort in doing your Chemistry homework, only to your utmost horror to see your teacher frowning in total disgust, scanning through your answers as he puts those big red crosses effortlessly.

No one appreciates that kind of effort. Doing it all wrong is as good as not doing, in addition to bringing the trouble, you jinx!

Well, thank you very much. Not only do I feel guilty doing it all wrong, I've also wasted your time. Damn, I ought to be gunshot... But wait, haven't I feel terrible enough? You make me think it's wrong to be emotional and weak to be crying. You make it sound as if I'm being foolish and expecting too much, very well knowing how much you hated SMSing and therefore, it is only right for my cell to remain silent and unmoved.

While on the other hand, someone's cell is constantly beeping with messages. How contradicting you've made yourself sound, friend but don't bother arguing and stop deluding yourself because you just happen to put those numbers beside everyone's name on your chart.

I'm gullible and not a very bright child so please enlighten me if I'm wrong, in case anyone wants to argue that there's a difference in SMSing different people but all I know about SMS is that you press those numbers on the keypad and voilà, what appears on the screen became alphabets! The only difference I know of, please allow me to say, is who you're sending this message to and whether you want to do it... or not. And that will bring us back to the ranking chart and the fact that I'm insignificant and unimportant.

I know you've explained to me time after time but please forgive me. For I am just a girl standing by the shore, constantly washed by overwhelming strong currents. I'm tired and worn out, full of insecurity and trust me, I wasn't really waiting for anything.

I'm upset you didn't cheer me up but perhaps, I should just be contented that at the very least, you asked me to cheer up?

But if you had just one wish, would you wish that I'll be a happier person?

p/s: Kelly had mentioned to me that my entries are pretty emotional and is that the reason why no one is tagging?

With love at 10:12 PM,
Joan


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